My 100th Post! {& my best laid schemes go awry}

Today I planned to do another Vintage in the Home feature.

What was it I said last week about best laid plans?

Dear friends...I am 30 1/2 weeks pregnant...and I officially have the shingles.

Pretty flower from our summer vacation...much prettier than the shingles.

It is not fun.  It's a virus and therefore it basically has to run its course.  It can last 2-4 weeks, and I only have 8 weeks left before this baby comes, and I've been pushing so hard to get everything "done" by the end of February.  I may or may not have had a massive melt-down earlier today.  Complete with mascara stinging and running into my eyes (time to bring back the waterproof).

I felt desperate and weak and like I couldn't do anything right.  (As if I chose to get the shingles.  As if I had any say over the timing of my immune system giving in to the chickenpox virus which has lain dormant in my body for the last 25 years.  As if I can do anything to stop it from running its course.)

In the midst of my tears and wallowing and asking "God...really?  Why me?  Hasn't this pregnancy dealt me enough obstacles?  Why this?" I grabbed my Granny's old Bible for comfort.  I love reading her Bible...the one from her later years in life.  Seeing the passages she chose to highlight and underline.  See what spoke to her as age and alzheimer's took their toll.

I fully intended on reading Psalm 91...I was seeking refuge and wanted to hide from all that seemed overwhelming...

My Refuge and My Fortress

91 He who dwells in athe shelter of the Most High

will abide in bthe shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say1 to the Lord, “My crefuge and my dfortress,

my God, in whom I etrust.”

But when I opened to Psalms, the pages fell to Psalm 136...

His Steadfast Love Endures Forever

136 wGive thanks to the Lord, for he is good,

xfor his steadfast love endures forever.

2 Give thanks to ythe God of gods,

for his steadfast love endures forever.

3 Give thanks to ythe Lord of lords,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

4 to him who alone zdoes great wonders,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

5 to him who aby understanding bmade the heavens,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

6 to him who cspread out the earth dabove the waters,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

7 to him who emade the great lights,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

8 the sun to rule over the day,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

9 the moon and stars to rule over the night,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

10 to him who fstruck down the firstborn of Egypt,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

11 and gbrought Israel out from among them,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

12 with ha strong hand and an outstretched arm,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

13 to him who idivided the Red Sea in two,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

14 jand made Israel pass through the midst of it,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

15 but koverthrew1 Pharaoh and his host in the Red Sea,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

16 to him who lled his people through the wilderness,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

17 to him mwho struck down great kings,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

18 and killed mighty kings,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

19 Sihon, king of the Amorites,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

20 and Og, king of Bashan,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

21 and gave their land as a heritage,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

22 a heritage to Israel his nservant,

for his steadfast love endures forever.

23 It is he who oremembered us in our low estate,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

24 and prescued us from our foes,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

25 he who qgives food to all flesh,

for his steadfast love endures forever.

26 Give thanks to rthe God of heaven,

for his steadfast love endures forever.

There are a total of 4 commands to "give thanks" and 26 reminders that "his steadfast love endures forever" in this Psalm.   I don't think it's an accident that I read this first.

Choosing to be thankful and not frustrated...so not easy.  Acknowledging that all my sewing and painting projects and room makeovers might not get done....so, so not easy.  Admitting that I am sick and can't really "fix" it...so not easy.  But here I am.  In this moment where my body is clearly screaming at me to go easy.  To rest.  To allow myself a moment or two to heal.

I'm not saying it's easy, because it's not.  But I think it's important to give thanks.  Give thanks when things are going fabulously and especially when they are not.  Even when we're running for refuge, to give thanks.

So tonight I am thankful for this baby girl, who has her mama's chickenpox antibodies keeping her safe and sound.

I am thankful for a roof over my family's head and food in our bellies.

I am thankful I have insurance and doctors to help care for me and this little one growing inside.

I am thankful for modern medicine and the hope that this will not last as long as it would untreated.

I am thankful for a husband who understands that I'm not feeling 100% and is trying to make it better in the small ways he can.

I am thankful for the sweet little boy who gave me hugs all afternoon, sensing that something wasn't quite right.

I am thankful for the sweet new puppy we are bringing into our home tomorrow!  It may not be the best timing, but she is sure to bring smiles to all our faces.

I am thankful that I already had my 30 week doctor's appointment planned today and therefore we caught this early.

And I am praying for the fortitude to put one foot in front of the other and live in the moment, thankful for all our many blessings.