Balancing Life as Mama

Oh y'all.  I can talk a good talk on this one.  But the reality is this is still my greatest daily struggle.

Just about every mama I talked to warned me that the adjustment from one child to two is the hardest adjustment to make.  They told me it was harder than going from no babies to one, and they told me going from two kids to three or more was infinitely easier.  I heard them, but I really had no way of understanding what they were saying until I got thrown into the deep end with two kids.

I had lots of ideas for 2013; lots of ambitions.  But what needed to come first was my family.  And while I acknowledged this with my head, my feet kept trying to take me in a different direction.  I knew that my top priority was my little brood who needed their mama, but I had dreams of doing things for myself.

I was going to blog the way I'd always wanted to.  I was going to open my Etsy shop full of vintage goodies and have fun sharing my love of old things.  I was even going to tip my toe back into the waters of interior design.  All good things, yes.  But not exactly what needed to be my top priority last year.  And when these things didn't pan out the way I wanted them to, I felt like a failure.

I struggled against my desire to do more, to be more.  It felt like I was smacking my head into a brick wall on a daily basis.  The more I tried to cram what I wanted to do into my days, the more I began to grow impatient with my daily life as a mama.  I began to view simple things like building yet another train track or reading the same book for the 84 millionth time as interruptions - which they aren't.  When we were in the throws of potty training, I felt over my head and was frustrated with the extra 2 loads of laundry I did every day for months on end.  And over time I began to resent the life I was living.

I've done a lot of soul searching on this one in the last couple of months.  I've come to a breaking point more than once, and here are some of the things I've learned:

1. It might sound like a no-brainer, but I have to get out of the house every day.  If it's only to go to the grocery store, so be it.  But if I can get out of the house and go for a nice long walk every day, so much the better.  I don't have to change outfits or worry about workout gear if I'm going for a walk, and I can take my babies with me if need be.
2. If I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed and feel like I'm going to snap and yell at my son, then I need to walk away.  If he's not in imminent danger or putting his sister in imminent danger (like running into the street or smacking her on the head) then I need to walk away until I can address the situation calmly.  
3. I need to not care as much how my life looks to outsiders.  I don't live an idyllic life and staying home with my children is hard work.  Period.  Sometimes I hear comments about "what do you do all day?" and I want to poke myself in the eye.  The more I hear these types of comments, the more I feel like I'm not measuring up to some standard of super-mom.  Instead of letting these things roll off my back, I feel the need to apologize for my choice to stay home as a mom.  But I don't need to apologize.  Don't I feel like my education is being wasted?  No.  If anything I feel like my education is benefitting my children.  Reading this last week was freeing, if for no other reason to know that I'm not alone.
4. If I'm having a crazy day and my list of to-do items is starting to choke me, it's okay to leave some of those to-dos undone.  I really started to see the value of this the closer we got to Christmas.  I didn't want to spend the holidays stressed out, yet the closer we got, the more stressed I was.  I built up such a list of things I wanted us to do, there just weren't enough hours in the day for us to do everything.  By Christmas Eve morning I was in a sour mood trying to figure out logistics for getting everything done.  I realized I could either get everything done or I could take a couple things off that list and we could enjoy our day.  I lightened our load for the day and it ended up being one of my favorite Christmases of all time. Now, when my to-do list seems to be a bit much, I try to whittle down to what absolutely HAS to get done, and let everything else go.  It's easier said than done, but I'm learning.
5. When I've gone too long without a break, I need to be honest about it with my husband.  If he can't watch the kids for a short while, then I need to call in reinforcements from somewhere.  It's okay to admit that I need a break.

I know I will spend the rest of my life trying to get this mothering thing down.  It's a process and I'm not sure we're ever "done".  Do you struggle in balancing your life as a parent?  What bits of wisdom have you discovered?

Hello 2014. Hello Change.

I've been thinking a lot lately about change and the new year.  For me, the last half of 2012 and all of 2013 was like one huge run on sentence.  2013 left me completely run down, knowing that something needed to change.

I'm not one for resolutions, mostly because I make my resolutions near impossible to accomplish and throw in the towel way too fast.  Traditionally my resolutions have had to do with achieving a certain number on the scale or running a marathon (when, truthfully, I loathe running).  If not some sort of physical achievement, my resolutions have to do with keeping an immaculate house...in short they always revolve around achieving some form of perfection which lives only in my mind.  And so, I shy away from resolutions, because I know perfection is not what matters in this life I live.

But things have been way beyond perfection in my life for some time now.  And in order to refocus on the life I'm making for myself and my family, I've decided to make some changes in my daily habits.  Instead of making one big long list, I've decided to add one new habit every month during 2014.  I started back in November, because November is when I really began to see how lost I was in the midst of the daily chaos.  I'm not seeking perfection all at once.  I'm seeking to improve, period.

Curious about what my changes look like?  Here they are...

1. (November) - I will floss every day.  If I forget and skip a day, I will keep going with the floss the next day.  I really can take the extra minute to floss.  My gums and my dentist will be proud of me.

2. (December) - I will take myself for a walk every day.  If at all possible, I will walk by myself so I can go the pace I like and think to myself in peace.  If it's not possible, then I will take my family for a walk with me.  A snail's pace walk with little ones trumps not walking at all.  We all need to breathe in fresh air.

3. (January) - I will cook more.  My son will re-learn to like foods that aren't processed and pre-packaged.  My daughter will never know the difference.

I'm not sure what February's habit will be.  I'm not there yet.  But I look forward to this new year all the possibilities which lie ahead.

Have you made any changes for the new year?  What are they?

Sugar Cookies with Buttercream Icing {Cookie Exchange!}

This is one of my most cherished recipes.

Growing up, my mom was always volunteering for everything imaginable.  Need someone to sew costumes?  She'd sew.  Need someone to teach Sunday School or VBS?  She'd step in.  Need someone to be room mom?  There she was!

I always knew that my mom worked extremely hard to make things special for my brother and I.  Now that I'm juggling my own little family, I have even more respect for all the amazing things she did for us.  One of the things she was known for in her room mom days was her amazingly wonderful sugar cookies with buttercream icing.  These were made faithfully for just about every class party you could imagine.  I was always so proud to say "my mom made these" when all the kids lined up trying to grab an extra cookie.

So without further ado, here is her fabulous sugar cookie recipe.  I've made just a couple changes, switching out shortening and margarine to unsalted sweet cream butter.  Because butter only makes things better.  ;)

Mom's Sugar Cookies

3/4 cup of unsalted sweet cream butter, room temperature
1 cup of sugar
2 eggs
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Add the butter, sugar, and eggs to a stand mixer (or a large bowl with hand beater) and beat until smooth.

In a separate bowl, mix the flour, baking powder, and salt.

With the mixer on low, gradually add the flour mixer until everything is well blended and the dough starts to pull away from the bowl.

Turn the dough out onto a well floured surface, and roll out to 1/4" thick.  Cut out cookies using cookie cutters of your choice, and lay cookies on an un-greased cookie sheet, about 1-2" apart.

Bake in 350 degree oven for 10-12 minutes or until edges are just slightly turning golden.  Allow cookies to rest on baking sheets for 5 minutes before transferring to cooling racks to cool completely.  Ice cookies once they are completely cooled.

Buttercream Icing

2/3 cup unsalted sweet cream butter, room temperature
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups confectioner's sugar, sifted
1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon milk
food coloring (optional)

Place butter in a stand mixer (or large bowl with hand beaters) and beat until smooth.  With the mixer on low, slowly add the sifted confectioner's sugar until it is all incorporated well.  Add the milk and vanilla while beating on medium-low.  Once the icing is a smooth consistency, you may add food coloring if you like.  If the icing becomes too watery due to too much food coloring, add a little more sifted confectioner's sugar until the consistency becomes a little more stiff.

You can use the icing to "butter" your cookies and then add sprinkles on top, toss it in a Ziploc bag with a corner cut to pipe easy designs onto the cookies, or use decorating bags and tips to make more intricate designs.  Keep it as simple as or make it as fancy as you like.

Enjoy!

P.S. For todiefor Gingersnap cookies, these are an oldie but a goodie. :)

P.P.S I'm linking up today with Edie at Life In Grace!  Head over to her beautiful blog to see more wonderful cookie recipes. :)

The Best Greens Evah {A Tale of Two Recipes}

My Mema can cook.  If I were in 3rd grade I'd say "my Mema can cook better than your Mema", but I'm not so I'll refrain.  ;)

There are some people who stick meticulously to their recipe cards and cook wonderful meals.  Then there are those people who have those recipe cards tucked away somewhere, but have committed them to memory and improved on them over the years.  When you watch them cook it's like watching someone create art on a plate.  A pinch of this, a heaping spoon of that, stir 'til it looks right, give it a taste test, and voila....a masterpiece.

Time is taking its toll, but in her hey-day that was my Mema.  Sunday dinner was magic.  If you are lucky enough to have one of her recipes, you do not deviate.  She doesn't just give you the list of ingredients, she gives you her tips on how to make it turn out right every. single. time.

But occasionally I come across someone else who shares that "art" of cooking and their recipe is a just a tad different from Mema's.  What's a girl to do???

The answer, my dears, is to take the best from both and create your own masterpiece.  :)

Greens were one of my Mema's specialties....but they are also a specialty of a former co-worker of mine!  They are a Fall staple in my house...even our little Poppy girl loves them {pureed and sans bacon fat}.  Using fresh greens yields the best result, hands down.  But frozen greens are what I reach for more often than not, simply because they are more convenient.  After a couple of years of tweaking, I've come up with the perfect combination of the recipes of the two ladies who taught me to cook fabulous, savory greens.  I think it honors the spirit of both their recipes.  Enjoy!

The Best Greens Evah

Ingredients:

2 - 16 oz packages frozen greens of your choice (I use mustard and collard) OR 8 cups loosely packed fresh greens, stems removed (you can buy fresh greens bagged, de-stemmed, and pre-rinsed...use two bags if you go this route)
1 ham hock
2 large cloves garlic (or 4 small), crushed
1 yellow onion, finely sliced
white vinegar
bacon fat (yes, bacon fat!)
salt
pepper

Directions:

Remove all stems (if using fresh greens) and put greens in large pot.  Add water just to cover and bring to a boil for 10-15 minutes.

Strain and rinse greens in hot tap water.  Return to pot and again, just cover with water.

Add ham hock and bring to boil.

Add garlic, onion, 2 Tbsp of bacon fat, and 2 capfuls of white vinegar (about 1-1 1/2 Tbsp).

Reduce heat to a simmer and let cook 30 minutes to a couple of hours.  The longer they cook the more intense the flavor will be.

Add salt and pepper to taste, and serve.  Enjoy!